**Instructions for making decisions that minimize regret** I think regret is preventable. Regret is caused by not processing gut feelings (hesitations, inclinations, hunches, and curiosities). Intuition heuristics: * "It's a good opportunity but I'm hesitant" -> Regret * "I can't explain it but it feels right for me" -> Glad * "I should do it but I don't want to" -> Regret * "It seems silly but I like it" -> Glad <div style="position: relative; padding-bottom: 56.25%; height: 0;"><iframe src="https://www.loom.com/embed/a0cb054f953949f6b04a319c4803047f" frameborder="0" webkitallowfullscreen mozallowfullscreen allowfullscreen style="position: absolute; top: 0; left: 0; width: 100%; height: 100%;"></iframe></div> My theory of regret = regret is basically the future form of unprocessed emotions. If you make a decision and are conflicted and have lots of unprocessed emotions, you'll feel regret afterwards at some points in the future. The regrets are basically those emotions saying "hey we wish you'd processed us before you made the decision". **Explanation of how to do it:** Before a decision or action where you feel internal conflict, you'll pause, use resonance to feel/digest all of those emotions (either by yourself or with help from someone), and then once you feel mostly emotionally neutral (you may wanna wait a bit - a few minutes, a week, depending on the scale of the decision, to see if anything else comes up), use a trick for "talking" with your subconscious to see which choice feels most peaceful, and then if you want to feel peace/glad, do that one. **Instructions for the basic version:** 1. Notice you're in a decision with inner conflict: e.g. whenever you say to yourself or someone else "I should" or whenever you notice a strong craving or sense of urgency 2. Say out loud: "I should do {X}, my impulse is to do {Y}." 3. Talk back to yourself, also out loud: "You should {x}, because {guess at why this matters to you.}" Repeat this for all of the shoulds and all of the impulses. Don't argue with yourself, instead, just reflect back your shoulds and impulses. 4. Repeat until you feel emotionally neutral. 5. Say out loud something like: "I should do {x}, my impulse is to do {z} or {y}, and my peaceful preference is to do {a}." While saying it wave your head side to side in a relaxed wave pattern. Notice if it feels true to say. If it does, great, that's your peaceful pref. If you're unsure, it's probably not, but you can also invert the sentence and say that to check. **Instructions for if you know resonance:** 1. Notice you're in a decision with inner conflict: e.g. whenever you say to yourself or someone else "I should" or whenever you notice a strong craving or sense of urgency 2. Do self-resonance on all of the different things you feel about the decision/action. 3. Repeat until you feel emotionally neutral, mostly. 4. Take some space (if it's a big decision, you might revisit in a week and check if it's still peaceful, if it's a small one, it might be 60 seconds). 5. Say out loud something like: "I should do {x}, my impulse is to do {z} or {y}, and my peaceful preference is to do {a}." While saying it wave your head side to side in a relaxed wave pattern. Notice if it feels true to say. If it does, great, that's your peaceful pref. If you're unsure, it's probably not, but you can also invert the sentence and say that to check. **Quotes from my friends:** Ben Pan said: "I think that's one of the most life changing things I've learned, how to reach peaceful preference between your subconscious and conscious mind" Maile Minardi said: "Peaceful Preferences are now my roadmap for all parts of my day here are a few small examples that FELT SO GOOD to choose" Your gut is very very very good at regret minimization. It's a supercomputer and has seen all of your decisions. It works best when you integrate all of the information from different parts of you, and that's what this is. (Also it feels really good when you're in the habit of making the different parts/emotions of you feel seen and it becomes an automatic thing that happens in the background) **"But on some decisions you just gotta use logic ya?"** IMO no, this is a way of allowing your gut to synthesize and digest all the information tha texists in the brain and emotions - just integrate/emotionally process/feel all of the logic/shoulds. That way you get all the info from your brain and all the info from your gut and elsewhere **"Peaceful intuition vs fear/impulse vs wishful thinking?"** Peaceful preference feels clear, grounded, relaxed, non-urgent. Fear/impulse often feels constricted and urgent. Wishful thinking might feel exciting but non-grounded/non-relaxed. If it feels urgent and your conscious mind has major logical hesitations, it's impulsive, if it's relaxed and your conscious mind has no major objections, it's likely a peaceful pref. **Quick heuristics:** "I'm not so sure about this, but I should do it" -> regret "I don't know how to explain it, but this feels really right" -> glad **Examples** <div style="position: relative; padding-bottom: 62.5%; height: 0;"><iframe src="https://www.loom.com/embed/f4d066c58f9941f1bb4efdc664c48bb6" frameborder="0" webkitallowfullscreen mozallowfullscreen allowfullscreen style="position: absolute; top: 0; left: 0; width: 100%; height: 100%;"></iframe></div> and <div style="position: relative; padding-bottom: 62.5%; height: 0;"><iframe src="https://www.loom.com/embed/d7a73569da5b4d3fb26995c0972fc435" frameborder="0" webkitallowfullscreen mozallowfullscreen allowfullscreen style="position: absolute; top: 0; left: 0; width: 100%; height: 100%;"></iframe></div> **Next steps** It'll take about maybe 10-15 decisions of using this before you hit the magic moment where it clicks. Practice with small fast-feedback-loop low-stakes decisions: food, clothing, tweets, emails, exercise, shopping, texts, social event decisions.