![[chris-barber.png|80]] I'm Chris, living in San Diego, from New Zealand, Australia, Stanford, and Santa Monica. Focuses: AI preparation & emotional regulation. > ![[matt-mochary.png|40]] "Chris is one of my favorite humans on the planet. Smart, doer and fun. But of course my view is very biased. I owe my entire coaching career to him, as he was the very first person to ask me to coach!" – Matt Mochary, coached the CEOs at Coinbase, Notion, Reddit, and managing partners at Benchmark, Sequoia > ![[griffin-choe.png|40]] "Chris and the thinkers he recommends have had an enormous positive impact on my life" – Griffin Choe, leading AI security efforts at Figma > ![[josh-singer.png|40]] "I have met none like him. I regularly think "what would Chris Barber do"" – Josh Singer, Founder of Eigen > ![[rafael-cosman.png|40]] "I've known Chris Barber for around a decade now and he is a great guy and someone that we are honored to have as an angel investor. Would definitely recommend working with him if you have the chance!" – Rafael Cosman, Founder of Protogon Research ### Emotional Regulation Resonance is a way of speaking that helps others feel seen. People mostly use it with partners, kids, and themselves, to resolve conflicts faster and help others feel better. It works by helping others get emotionally regulated. When someone is upset or you're in a conflict, it'll help a lot, though if you're already good at helping people feel better and don't experience much conflict, then it'll be magic superpowers for you. I cofounded an executive coaching marketplace with 100+ coaches in the network. Teaching resonance is my way of spreading a superpower that some of the best coaches have, to more people. It's an awesome way to be able to support your partner, kids, yourself, and your close friends. > ![[matt-mochary.png|40]] "If you want to be in the top 1% of emotional intelligence you need to master this skill" – Matt Mochary, coached the CEOs at Coinbase, Reddit, Notion, and Managing Partners at Sequoia and Benchmark > ![[griffin-choe.png|40]] "it's been helpful for feeling more peaceful about work and future trajectory, in relationship with my girlfriend, and in relationship with parents" – Griffin Choe > "I just textbook resonated and it worked so well" – my sister > ![[josh-singer.png|40]] "I find it most useful in helping people deal with their raw emotions" – Josh Singer > "helpful before heightened situations like an exam, a presentation" – Ben Pan > ![[alton-sun.png|40]] "I'm regularly complimented on it and it has embedded itself into my language" – Alton Sun > "you taught me resonance, which is honestly life changing, as I've said to you many times" – Ben Pan > ![[george-zeng.png|40]] "for me (1) it's wanting to make my partner feel emotionally validated. maybe a distant (2) helping me build trust and resonance in professional relationships" – George Zeng > "this shit works bro" – Justin Yang > ![[richard-ngo.png|40]] "This shit is magic" – Richard Ngo > ![[herrick-fang.png|40]] it's helped with "how to make myself feel better about which choices i wanna take" and "has helped me identify if i actually do/do not want to do something" – Herrick Fang > ![[josh-singer.png|40]] "I want more. I want more bi-directional rez. We'll be your guinea pigs." > "I think it would drastically change the next year of our business." > – Josh Singer > "when people around me are not doing so hot i can help them more" – Justin Yang > ![[josh-singer.png|40]] "I use it 70% with partner, cofounder 5%, team members 20%, others 5%" – Josh Singer > "for me it's about unsticking emotions for myself and my friends when I am frustrated or not sure what to do about something" > "also just getting closer to my friends by being more supportive and help them feel their way through dilemmas or frustration too" > – my brother > "if you're around the bay or SF anytime soon for resonance workshop, I'd love to be a part of that. You know, I think it's one of the most useful skills I've ever learned. And I think it'll just get better and better. I want to keep cultivating it until it becomes a superpower, and not just for my career, but also for friends and romantic relationships, friendships." – Ben Pan > ![[nina-barber.png|40]] "I was looking for the thing that would bridge that gap between self awareness and actually feeling different, and I feel like IFS (internal family systems) and other stuff fell short, I understood the triggers but they didn't go away. But resonance once I was aware and had practiced a bunch was clear it was the path to reducing a lot of triggers" > "I use resonance dozens of times a day to help myself and other people get emotionally regulated" > – my wife Nina I think the better people are at making others feel seen and emotionally regulated, the more fun the world is. ### Decision Making I think I've made a pretty good answer for making easy decisions that feel great. It's mostly resonance/emotional regulation, plus a few other steps. > "I think that's one of the most life changing things I've learned, how to reach peaceful preference between your subconscious and conscious mind" > "It's just been so powerful." > "I used to be someone who thinks a lot about everything. I'm very cerebral, very analytical." > "It's helped me find opportunities that other people aren't working on, that actually are very important to work on." > – Ben Pan, student at Stanford University > ![[maile-minardi.png|40]] "Peaceful Preferences are now my roadmap for all parts of my day here are a few small examples that FELT SO GOOD to choose" – Maile Minardi, Founder of Marketing Consultancy ### Parenting We have a few methods we love. The methods are mostly "get good at helping your kids with emotional regulation by resonating with them constantly." >![[nina-barber.png|40]] "I wish wish wish every parent knew this stuff" – Nina Barber, my wife and co-founder of the executive coaching marketplace >"For parenting I didn't desperately need a tool but I see now how there's a huge gap if you don't have resonance. I think about all the ways we connect with the kids because of resonance. The foundation of love and respect and connection because of resonance" ### How To Prepare For AI You may want to understand what's coming in the next few years, what to be worried about (and not), and how to prepare/thrive. I'm working on this, here are some quotes from my friends who've seen draft versions. >![[josh-singer.png|40]] "The product-market fit for this will be very high" – Josh Singer, Founder of LLM consultancy >![[rick-barber.png|40]] "This is perfect, this is it, this is the way ... I want to read what you've got already" – Rick Barber (no relation!), CTO of AI-native marketing firm >![[griffin-choe.png|40]] "That's sick, honestly ... I immediately want to click in" – Griffin Choe, Leading AI Security Efforts at Figma Here's a draft curation of my AI roundups and preparation interviews so far: [[AI Prep Notes]] ### About and Links I'm effectively a semi-retired entrepreneur/researcher. I also co-founded an executive coaching marketplace for startups (let me know if you're a founder of a seed-series C startup and need help finding an executive coach), and founded a place for engineers to discover good startups to join (let me know if you need help deciding between startup job offers). I've written deep dives on topics like how to get into Stanford and on GPU supply. Email: [email protected] On [Twitter/X](https://x.com/chrisbarber) I have recently started talking about AI preparation & emotional regulation.